Sunrise

The other day as I was driving Jim to work , we shared another beautiful sunrise with Grant. It had the same beautiful colours, orange and pinks, that were in the sunrise the day of his Celebration. I know he had a hand in it, he is always around, and yet I struggle.......

As I talk to Grant daily about my struggles, I can picture him looking down and rolling his eyes at me, giving me his smirk- his answer to a smile as he didn't like to show teeth. When I look at pictures of him they seem so real that I think he must be here,  and I keep waiting for his hugs. I wonder if I will ever come to terms with this. I have started to accept some things, I now am the one taking the baby steps that I so often spoke of with Grants Journey. I know that there is no point in having regrets about how things were handled (well most of the time) as all they do is make me sad, and I can't change the past, much as I would love to. I am fairly sure that God had a purpose for taking Grant from us so early- yes I do have moments that I still question but they are fewer and I do know that he is in a much better place- albeit without us.

So many people have offered us such kind words, love and support. I cannot tell you the number of tears I shed in a day, but I do know that I have wonderful friends who watch and wait for me to talk, after the snot and gulps for air have subsided. I continue to speak of Grant as if he were still here on earth- talking about his likes and his dislikes, the things that he likes to do and I wonder after if the people I am talking to are thinking that I am nuts?? Thank you for accepting and not judging or questioning. Most of you know I am a little crazy... as for the poor passerby in Original Joes or Starbucks- oh well....

Our village continues to support Grant and our family. Mountain Park School has organized a Blood Drive in Grants honour. It will be held 4 days before his birthday, Dec 16th at Cardinal Newman School in McKenzie. After living the nightmare of daily blood transfusions and witnessing shortages I am so thankful for people who donate, I am joining back in, after a few years, and will just ensure I eat a lot before and after (not such a tough job for me) If you would like to donate you can call Canadian Blood services at 1-888-236-6283.

Day by Day.....